Therapy Time (and one more too...)

Let's see what the therapist says about my anger issues...

(1) "High Expectations"
Let's see : Not everyone is a perfectionist and most people couldn't give a damn about their lives, unless they're in the Special Forces or labelled a Type A Personality (I guess). Well, I am hitting Three-Oh in a couple of years, shouldn't I be pushing myself a little harder?

(2) "Laying the Blame on Others"
...which was precisely the point of my outburst. Honestly, if it hadn't been for some people's incompetence, I wouldn't be needing to wait unnecessarily for a [stupidly timed] phone call. 'After lunch', my big fat buttocks.

(3) "Personalizations"
'They're doing it on purpose.' Well, obviously! And with a lame purpose to call "after lunch", meaning that they should make a call at 4:30 pm or after 5:00pm. So they have their lunch at three in the afternoon, then? I'd usually have dinner at four if I was actually on some shift work.

Heh. One resolution was mentioned, and it says "empathy". Seriously? Seriously?! I couldn't care for any more people. And because if I did, I'd go into my über melancholy stage like it was 8 years ago. Yes, I love being in a psych ward. Pfft.

Curiously enough, check these out :
Astrozone's Virgo Archetype says... "(snippet) The need for perfecting everything and everybody causes undue stress, worry and emotional backlashes."

and

Astrology Online Says... "Fussy and a worrier ; Overcritical and harsh ; Perfectionist and conservative"

Wooh. Personally, I am governed by rationale and logic. So astrology is practically insignificant to me but the coincidences are just -- well, you see it for yourself, right? I read somewhere else that there are other signs who are worse off than I am. Oh, I seriously doubt that. Try having a five-day flare up and then we'll call it even. ;)

Recurring Moles

Having recurring moles... sucks.

I had one of mine removed on Thursday, and it just so happened to lie strategically on a laugh line... What? I am that old, okay? I don't love the skin I'm in, so just too bad. I just let gravity do its work. The only law the people on Earth can never break, duh!

So back to my mole issue, it's no fun having a plaster on the face, and everyone will look at it and ask about it(if they dare). And now that it's drying up, with scab and all, how it itches and the inevitable scratch might just make it all the more worse. And there was no avoiding the abrasive relationship I would have with this healing wound. So it was bad enough that I accidentally scratched off the newly formed scab. Ouch.

And to top it all off, another mole is making a re-appearance.
(which CD pointed it out on Saturday's meetup -- great outing, by the way.)

Now, this other mole near my eye, I loved it once. That is, when it was intact an untouched and unmarred. Now that it has already been surgically removed -- an incision made, of course -- there is a scar. And on that scar, re-emerges remnants of what it once was. Then a promptly [stupid] question came, "Why not keep it?"

Rrgh. When it's already been mutilated. You think I would keep it now?!

This mole near my eye was my favourite, although it would be a lousy way to keep anonymity. However superstition had me removing it. Odd, yes, to the modern mindset. It was believed that a mole near the eye(s) it called a "Teardrop Mark", in other words, a sign of sorrow or misfortune, if you please.

I should think so, considering how many children were given away. All that sorrow of having been discarded just because of a melanin [excess] growth on the wrong parts of your face. Such sorrow indeed.

Birthday #2 and one of those "coughing fits" days.

Happy Birthday, Mumsy.

Again, another discreet salutation. Because being senior just isn't something to scream out to the world and throwing a party to render you broke and powerless against the fact of life.

We had a small affair, with a slice of bacon too!

But just what did we do today? Hmm. I woke up this morning, not too late, not early, and I had Mumsy's Omelette!!! Yummmy... It was her birthday no doubt but I think it is always cheaper to make breakfast rather than buy it. So immediately after breakfast, I got stuck watching HBO and put up with Dwayne Johnson and his soldier lot. "Doom"

Gawd! It's a glorified FPS movie! It was so bad, I actually enjoyed watching it. Especially the First-Person Shooter bits! And after having fun for the past two hours or so, I hammered away at Halo 2, although it had swords instead of chainsaws...

After that, well, it was off to dinner and boy! I love shopping. Got myself (1) CDs of Prince [which I'm listening to write now], Mary J Blige and The Who (2)My Chinese New Year's Apparel (3)Got a Giordano membership for a lifetime this time you befuddled wankers!!! Wasn't that what you guys said the last time about the Silver Key system? My ass.

Whatever, I am in a really good mood. Been so for the past few days, so much so that I forgot to do up my blog. Feel good time? Maybe a feel good blog? Nah, there'd only nine entries in a span of say, 5000 days...

Heh. Just heard...

Heard there was something on "The Dance Floor".
It ain't blood, it ain't murder, it's...

Halo 2. Really?

Yeah, there's no mistaking it. Viewership figures, from its premiere episode on Channel 5 on 21st/Jan/07 last Sunday, were pretty impressive. Myself included. And what a waste of time. So I spent the rest of mine tweaking my Sims. (As usual.) Although the seniors were pretty cool. Go seniors!

So, they made an ad to thank viewers. At least! The decency of them for having wasted my time. If you heard this sound (386KB, 18 Seconds) -- freakin' awesome eerie if you ask me -- on that ad, then it heralds impending doom on Earth as Covenant Shadows cruise along the highway tunnels heading down to Metropolis. Well, I had fun. Just don't make me go through any of those Jackal sniper-infested levels. Legendary hell, and their looks don't help either. Thank Yous aplenty, Bungie!


Jackals are ugly uglierer!!!

So why use that ominous music for that gratitude trailer? Beats me.

Sims 2 : My Pet Project

Crystal!!!

Isn't she just adorable?! Here is my favourite brindled boxer but this time in all her Simish glory. Perhaps all you old cronies of mine have heard me talk about her? No? Well, too bad if you can't remember and especially more so if you have never met her.

(I can actually take a proper photo of her. No "devil's eyes"!)

It's mind-boggling what The Sims 2 can bring you, and not just hours of fun that leaves you to neglect your work or waste two days of your life. And now, this... I can have as many boxers as I please, without having to deal with the mess too!

And speaking of mess, there was this IM session I had with a certain someone and she ran off suddenly saying that she had to clean up her pet's poo. Talk about the annoyance of having a real pet.

-- What? I once loved animals. So?

The Sim-sational Weekend

Okay, so I should be kicked for a pun like that.

-- And I lied. It wasn't as Sim-sational as I put it, rather, I had devoted sacrificed my entire weekend to The Sims 2. Mainly [re-]installing several Gigabytes of everything including projects, neighbourhoods, houses... Who knew being a god was this much work, no wonder why we have the Sabbath. And that explains my innane need for some megalomania. It's fun to have that much control.

Speaking of which, I'd better pop by the chockful of Simmish things at Mod The Sims 2. Because four months of not tweaking with the All-Powerful "boolProp" renders one with a critical case of amnesia. It's a lot to mess around with when you want an entire neighbourhood of your very own Sims. (WARNING : Tweaking for seasoned or advanced players only.)

Yes, me Geek / Nerd. What's wrong with creating your own thing?


See that one above there? I made him myself, huh! Pasty faced too. Hmm, have to change the attire on that Sim, and his hair's too... Huh? Wha? Oh. Hairdos. I also had my hair done today, in case you were wondering. Just why did I so spontaneously agree to accompany Mumsy on a trip to the salon? Maybe it's not so bad tidying up the shag, eh? Although I would like to spend a little less time on my ass. NO WAY am I re-bonding. Not now, not ever.

Console For No Consoles.

It's 2007 now and... I still haven't got myself a next-gen console. Well, broke I may be, but rich my imagination keeps me... What kind of bullshit was that? I got no dough, so I can only dream. "Wishlist" as they say, so, if I should prioritize :

(1) Xbox 360 (well, duh!)
- Check out those games, and Halo 3, and it's been around for a bit.
(2) Nintendo wii
- Well, what have we here. "DS capability"? Hmm. Anyway, it isn't a ...
(3) PlayStation 3
- Need to sell a kidney for this one, obviously.

As for the latter two options, I don't suppose it's fair to do this but I just had to put up this video URL. I saw this way back when I Googled for -- Anyway, it almost kind of feels like the time when the Playstation people got hurt by the Nintendo boys. Oh, yeah, if you're wondering about the sense of Déja Vu? You'd be geeky enough to know about the Macintosh/Microsoft showdown. Now, if only they'd tidied the Mac guy's scruff.

Nintendo wii versus PlayStation 3


(Man, if I was lesbian, I'd be so turned on by something so cute.)

Hell, I had the cash, I'd get them both! Although, I wouldn't know what I would do with the blu-ray feature exactly. Bah, who cares if I'm broke. Nobody's fuckin' giving me a job. So I gots no money.

Yes, people of the gaming industry weep because I have no stable income thus I cannot spend my precious earned-with-sweat-and-blood money (...Blood Money? Been a while since I played Hitman...). Wanna blame someone for not having another gamer provide your income? Then blame these snub nosed pricks who couldn't give a shit about what they ask for on the classifieds, who are too stingy to offer any sign of a notification or are just too elitist to care. They even sound like some kikes I know from a law school.

So Book Me!!!

YES!!!

Ran over to my cuz's old place -- finally -- and snatched his book collection... or what was left of it. So now I have his classic "Small Arms" book (I love guns), the F-16 writeup (my eternal favourite), Dragons of Pern series (lots of 'em, wow...) and finally! the, uh, earlier Eddings stuff. Yay!

However...

This book has been declared missing.
(at least in the home collections)

"Why is this book so important?" One may ask. Well, I am an emotional little thing and sentimentality strings along with the roller coaster ride that is my manic mood mayhem.

It is very special in my most treasured of memories, and if you can't understand that, don't worry. Most people are too stupid to understand what having an attachment is (and it's not that thing you find on emails, dumbass). And I can boast a long-term memory, unrivalled in my family. :p

This was one of my favourite stories, outside of the generic fantasy or Tolkien blarghs. Funny thing happened last night, I saw an entry of Bree from CS Lewis' "The Horse and His boy". Ah, my fledgling days in the world of myths and legends.

And the last time I read it was in 1992, I think? So what's it like seeing an old friend? Nostalgisk. Er, Nostalgic. (What was that?! Swedish?)

Oh, yeah, speaking of Swedes. Reason why hadn't I updated yesterday was that I was too shagged out to type anything, after spending hours at IKEA. Damn, so much to do and it's not even February yet...

Rock on...

Lately, I have been down with a nasty case of the "Classic Rock Virus".

And what exactly do I mean?

AC/DC,
Creedence Clearwater Revival,
Deep Purple,
Jimi Hendrix,
Led Zeppelin,
Pink Floyd,
The Who ... Hoo-ah!

Aw, man. I need to go watch "School of Rock" again. And that chalkboard. OH MY GOD! That damned useful chalkboard. I need to have notes taken from it, provided I can actually see it. Still, mapping like that is just... fuckin' awesome. Wow.


Googled from www.2112.net

Unhealthy therapy?

As some of you have already heard me constantly rant and rave, I do cook. Amidst doing housework, home repairs, computer tweaking, reading and writing in between. Yes, me, very independent yet emotionally clingy, health watcher yet morbidly obese...

What the hell was all that about?! I'm here to talk about some therapy, man! So as I was saying, I cook and find its therapeutic effect emancipating. Such sensations I could never experience, such lessons I could never (did never, actually) learn, such thoughts I could never conjure up. The weight of having a fine utensil in my hand. Oh, if it were only a nihon to... but I'm not a Samurai nor a kenshi. I just love my new chef's knife! And I present to you my shiny friend's family.

From the Royal VKB Collection...


Aren't they just a sexy bunch? Think of all the slicing, dicing and even DNA splicing it could do! Think of the power a sharp instrument like that commands! And I think it just dawned on me that I've turned into my...Father. Oh. My. God.

Get Your Geek On!

These are the Dvorak keyboard layouts.

Huh. And just when I thought there was only one, which I figured was a lefty's (see the topmost diagram) heaven sent... which isn't pretty much of use of me, since I use my left hand for all that menial stuff. And breaking people's noses.

Well, believe it or not, this was somewhere deep inside my backup CD-ROMs which I am midway through sorting out. Alphabetizing and updating and -all- that shit. And so ends day five of my data repository rearrangement. Full of junk, an occasional golden nugget here and a chance spotting a random bit of a juicy gossip log there.

Why the hell would I want with a Dvorak? I don't know and I don't care to remember. Whatever it is, I can't pronounce Duh-vor-raak, nor do I have a love for the composer's music (too nostalgic, blech). Of course, the latter's unrelated to computing in the first place.

Next time on the Lyne... The actual mess in my room! Hooray.

Oh. I see. Wait, I don't need to see.

I read somewhere on the 'net that formalin is used for treatments on warts. And when I think of warts, I think of genital warts... Eew.

Yes, I know : "Lyne the Hygiene Freak"

Oldie adding on.

Heh, can't believe I've been keeping a regular blog. How...boring.

Woouh. So here I am, going through all my bookmarks*. And a lot of needed updating. I mean -- come on! -- a simple word in the wrong place of the URL and it's a 404 error. Alas, alack, so many of those bookmarks are no more, while others have shifted on to big servers (yay) and the rest... I'm no longer interested in. Surprise, surprise.

Big question of the moment : Why change so much in 6 months? Hmm.

That reminds me, I was wondering why I couldn't read those Japanese pages. After the BIG INSTALL, I kept wondering why the hell I couldn't see my old favourite Jap sites. And the reason? I am running an old Operating System, Windows 98 Second Edition. AND STOP ASKING WHY!!! Vista's coming out later, OK?! So stuff it.

Windows 2000 and XP already have that support in their installation. Does that mean Microsoft only learned to speak beyond Cyrillic after the millennium? Anyway, what I needed was a miracle installation called a Language Pack... which I found after consulting the Mozilla knowledge repository Anyway, here's the URL to several of those East Asian Languages Packs & IMEs.

And now...? "Ta-dah!" Look to the right.



* And if you're wondering what sort of bookmarks I have? Uh, I tell only my friends.

SHLWAPI this.

Now, ever wondered why I haven't been doing my blog thing for the past 6 months? Ever wondered what the hell I was talking about in a previous post? Well, it's not a dumb fucktard excuse as some of you [wankers] might think.

Here's why.




Big revelation of my life, that is. Now, why do I have this photo? Simple, it's the proof for the local Atari fellas to see. After installing Hitman 2 : Silent Assassin, my OS was wiped out. I have a strong feeling that it had something to do with Microsoft's fucking lame updates. I have never seen so much "KBxxxxx" Clutter actually existing in the control panel option, "Add and Remove Programs".

So there was no way of restoring my OS and even with the immense wealth that is so obviously the Internet, none of those so-called solutions worked. I am resourceful enough I can tell you that much, so don't you be pussy-guessing about what I can't do. There was no other solution... Except to have a lean slate to work on.

The magic command? FORMAT C:

So... Imagine having no major errors in your system since mid-2002. Imagine having to attempt backing up all that data you have come to love as your profile settings. Imagine being midway in backing up your files while the shit hit the drivers. Understand my predicament and stop saying that I just suddenly "went out of the loop".

You fucking solve this and then tell me what's it like to lose contact over the past six months. Asshole.

Birthday #1 and one of "those" days.

Happy Birthday, Da.

So why the need for the discreet? I hate birthdays, that's why.

And in most cases, it's closer to the end. No one gets younger as they say, although I have seen the reversal with Joan Collins. Oh, man... yergh. Outside shows one thing but on the inside? And I even had to watch the Golden Girls today, how depressing.

So, this day was a fricking waste. I had one of my classic temper flare-ups first thing in the morning. My disk defragmentaion took five fucking long hours. And adding to all this shit, a missed morning call from fucking New Era, deciding to call at its own discretion...

The fuckers called yesterday, as they said "after lunch", universal knowledge that is after lunchtime or so... but no! Those retards decided to call at 4+ pm instead. Well what fucked their heads so hard that they don't even know how to read time? Then the next morning, today that is, they called but I was out and my cellphone can't follow me where I go... so fuck their idiocy.

I had to bother a friend -- CD! -- of mine to get those T-bags calling me. Boy, do I regret asking a favour like that of her. There's gotta be something I do for her to make up for those fucktards' stupidity. Oh, and guess what? They haven't called shit since. A birthday that was actually a fucking waste of time. Thank you so much, morons of the world.

Demise of the Ccc...

Crikey. My Letter C is seeing its last days. But then again, I HOPE not!

Contacts. (Drat! Another letter C.) Most strange indeed having a conversation with a stranger. And not even face-to-face... sounds almost cyber-stalker like. How social we Sims, er, humans are. And forming relationships of all kinds : friends, enemies, acquaintances, another-name-on-the-contact-list, clients, bosses (WTF?!). Relatives aren't counted because they exist whether you like it or not.

And my personal favourite, relationships of the intimate sort. Shame on you if you had something dirty in mind. Although, that naughty bit always puts a damned silly grin on my face. Yes, I admit I can be devilishly "horned".

All you old peeps of mine? STOP looking at me like that! I am human you know. And what do I look for in a significant other? I'll let you decide. Pretty damned obvious and definitely a complement of mine, psychologically and physiologically. No room for lesbians so...ZING!

I just wonder why some human bonds die away like so...

And steam-rolled the other two.

Come to think of it... what of the other two? Let's see, one's herself and the other one's... half herself. Literally. Either that or there's more of me to go around. I wonder how many servings I would make to feed a Papu New Guinean family...

And I so hate Hannibal Lector... but that is not the point, Godammit!!!

Must have been the blasted books warehouse expo, I kept seeing Thomas Harris every bloody where. (Hey, I got my book at least, WHEE!) Jesus, what the hell do people read, man? Come on! Give me more of that trashy stuff by wannabe fantasy authors from TSR or Wizards of the Coast for that matter.

And now, I steam roll the other two. Man, it's a pain to be so... so... A.D.D.

Well, I gotta go for more of these gatherings. Must be pretty good being a social person. Better write about all those hoo-hah's and what-ho's... in my diary. What? Yes, I do keep a diary. Hell, even my Sims keep diaries. It's called THERAPY. Can you say "therapy", kids? ZING! At least it ain't any of that shit like the show those two cosmetically caked cows have, and who just... aren't my type.

You know, it's pretty hard MSN chatting with so many people at a time...

Just letting off the steam.

Now that I have too much hot coffee in my system, my headaches are gone. Whee! No, wait, that wasn't what I intended to write. Uh, yeah, I am in an okay mood. The sun was shining, my laundry's done, my room is... still my room and I have the coolest MP3s in my collection --

But, no, another interruptus. What, now? Ah, yes, a though bubble plops into the posterior lobes of my most complex organ. A certain revelation has been made to me, and I am most certainly not relishing in having my skin crawl.

Almost feels like letting my Pops hear the Stylistics.

...With the intensity multiplied to that of 500. I have been told about a certain character whose obvious infidelity and non-existent integrity (God, those words don't quite go together.) has upset the balance in a certain someone's life. And that someone has actually set foot in my haus. A male maggot who was disgustingly disgusting. Urgh.

(If I'd used more colourful adjectives, I'd insult the dictionary.)

Several years ago, I did threaten the pseudo-schlong, part-jokingly that he'd better not hurt his woman. Now I am not saying this as his possession but as an entrusted duty to take care. And I say partially because I am über serious and a viciously unforgiving lamprey. I just hope the law would be on my side when I am given the chance to actually mangle someone's face, or at least test out my 1337 skills in smashing things. If all else fails...

TEH B45T4RD MU5T D1E!!!111ONE1ONE11!! B4D JUJU 0N J00.

Oh, w00t, w00t.

(It's been ages since I spoke LEET. Man, sure as hell fun.)

Thingses did.

I hate writing so I type.

(Besides, I type faster than I write.)

I went to the doctor today and discovered the source of these headaches of mine. "Poor posture effect. Lack of circulation -- being three weeks down -- and dehydration". In short, I haven't been drinking enough. I just hope I don't start throwing up again. Oh, how I love to vomit 13 times a day.

Gave me Mumsy a present, something about a lady of perpetual sorrow or something. Anyway, I loves playing with the damned Irda dongle. Check out my phone and be bloody amazed... AMR conversions suck though so no-no. Dongle!

Went to IKEA, dragging along Pops, whom I had assumed had come but was there for the first time. So many cool things, and even cooler ideas, but so little time. Bowls couldn't come any rounder, boxes couldn't be sold out at a better time, CD boxes are still waiting for me and I need to do something. Anything...

Therapy sessions at an end : either subsidized or private, follow her or get a new therapist. I wants to be discharged and then slowly lay down, roll over and then die. Simple as Mac and Cheese. If me wants to go on, me's just earn some dough and get on with me goddammned life.

So what can I do with my fucked up time? Lists coming the way...

Dungeons of my machinations.

The third day of the year.

Curious, I wonder why the government system makes children born on this day miss a school year. Oddities aside, I miss school and of not having to make the choices in your life. And then speaking of which, I'll be meeting up with some ex-classmates. Can't say I look forward to this. What with the sudden re-emergence of a hermit.

"I'm just artificial flavouring, no pretenses about that."

Oh, the irony of having said that. Oxymoron. Huh.

If truths be told, I can't pretend about myself. No use being nice, when I am not. Niceness isn't a strength, and in any case, it is always a backfiring compromise to the wickedness of all that is. Yes, everything is fucked up.

Like the trappings of mortal existence and why exactly do we have sentience? What kind of sick joke is evolution? And why don't brains have pain receptors. Would have been so much easier, then I wouldn't have to think so much. Brians taste awful, so I must be a zombie to like one. Thank God I don't ever ingest pig's brains or pigs named Brian.

...

Why have I been imprisoned in the cells of my own imaginings for so long? The mastery of a storyteller's weavings, a dungeonmaster. Perhaps for twenty-four months the bonds of denial are manifesting themselves as self-detrimental somethings. Where exactly did all this come from, and where will it go?

What the fuck is all this shit?

The blinkin' turd, I mean, Third!

Ah, the New Year...

Not that it is of great significance other than a change of Gregorian calendars. Speaking of which I have to change mine. Nothing against a cousin of mine, but I just couldn't wait to get rid of this ultra cute thing I've been seeing for 52 weeks. Yech.

Intro! Yes, I am the Lyne and I am back. For how long more? Who can say... except my dear friend Mister Zopiclone of course. It has been almost five months since I last blogged. Don't know if that is a good thing or not. No drastic changes from the last anyone as heard from me. Oh, and I still swear a lot, so I should forget about including that as a resolution.

Now, what called for the hiatus? Simple...
(I have a chronic thing for damned prioritized lists)

1. I just wasn't in the mood.
Still am though, so don't think a bad mood is something to be taken lightly in my case. You can check my lousy bill (not to mention, bill$) of mental health with the hospital... that's only a couple of blocks away from my home. No wonder why I loves going to a sickhouse. Tch.

2. My computer is back on line! And fuckin' hard work brought it back.
It was in the wee hours of September 16th, 2006. And after I installed Hitman : Silent Assassin, I bade goodbye to my hard disks and my sanity. How my SHLWAPI.DLL got all fucked up like those five whores, who knows. Oh, Atari how could you? I don't hate Mr. 47 but I'm terrified of him as Hitman 2. When will I see the man in glorious PC 3D again?

3. New hobbies.
And one of them includes putting on weight. Come on! I live to be gluttonous. And to cook. Yes, I like cooking and if you look at me funny just because I said that, I'll stick my brand new knife into your eyeball. Yum. Vitreous Humour.

4. I found a new boyfriend.
Fucked I be if he was real though. And also, I gots me some new books. Yes, I am a horny bibliophile too. Sad person I am, so many problems, so little mental prowess.

5. ...
I dunno. I just liked seeing my list hit the number five.

And if ye wants to be making contact with me, do so. I couldn't possibly care more in my current state. But if you are a certain married bint now residing in Melbourne you can rot in hell for all my empathy's worth.

My, aren't we social creatures? How that pretty much makes me a... Sim.