Ahem!

J to Y = German = Deutsch = Dutch = East Indies = Indonesia = Yogyakarta = Jogjakarta

Pretty damned bizarre hearing Bahasa ending up as "Jog Jarkarta".

Like some fitness campaign.

Hah.

I speak lots... till I can't sleep.

Big deal. Many people can speak more languages than I can.

So here I am, at 2 a.m., trying to sleep but just couldn't resist playing with the PC. (Dumbass.) And right now, all I can think about is what a classmate of mine said...

"So you're a Baba?!"

Urgh. I know it's just small talk and she's a friendly, bubbly personality who lives a couple of blocks away from me. (I still can't believe it. What are the chances?) Anyway, I hate being called a "Baba" because...
(1) I am not one, but grew up Peranakan style.
(What a headache that is.)
(2) My name is not Ali Baba and I want nothing to do with 40 thieves.
(Except kill them.)
(3) I do speak English, Malay, Chinese (& some Hokkien/Teochew), some Japanese, some German, and a few phrases in Spanish and Thai.
(So my brain makes no bloody sense whatsoever.)
(4) I may be an only child but STOP SAYING THAT I AM SPOILT!!! I always wanted to tear off the head of whomever says that. And if I did, I would get messy with blood all over my clothing. (Uh, ignore the fourth bit. What - was - that...?)

Yeah. Yeah! Screw you! Whatever! I'm going to bed.

Zoolander!

Sashay? What the fuck is a sashay?
I saw a writeup on the local schmut -- eh, news media during the weekend and I have to say this is most surprising. Yeah, right. I wonder how the hell it slipped past the censorship board of Sporeasia is beyond me. Here comes Zoolander : The DVD.

Now, the movie itself, in all its former big screen glory, was actually screened in Singapore for a fortnight. And then, some goody-assed people must have spoken up to the censors about the plot... Which would be offensive (really?) to the neighbour. So all cineplexes scrapped the film.

Damnable them and I didn't get a chance to watch it. By the time I did catch wind of it -- and when it was on off-peak ticketing price day -- the theatres took the thing off. Oh, lah-fucking-dee-dah.

Come on! What is so offensive about assassinating a fictional Malasyian president who is against child labour? Seriously! No thanks to a then grating Buttock Matahir -- giving him a meaner name would insult the insult -- who had a donkey's sense of humour.

If there really was a president, then there wouldn't be a Monarchy would there? Agong dan Puteri pergi mana ni? And it is sad Sporeland has to be named a republic. It's not like everyone adores the queen or something either. A fucking republic. (A what?) And an impregnable fortress of Malaya was knocked up pretty well too...

Retro Gaming

Oh, man. Yahoo!'s video search generated this nugget of a video clip.



A Super Mario Bros. Race!!!
I'll have to admit, this is probably the best answer to my years of pining for the oldies but goodies. And I couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole thing (while watching "American Graffiti" on the telly). It is good fun, I tell you! For all you NES buffs and romanticists, go see it. Warning : It's a pretty large download.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2707027

Courtesy Spoiler Warning.
If you haven't studied the game's intricacies, or even finished it, don't see it. But if you want to ruin the fun for youself, or just needed a reminder on how to finish the last stage, go on ahead.

I spoil myself...

Super Mario Brothers 3

Look, what I got! No more throwing a tantrum at my dinosaur console. No more frustration from the hours long gaming only to have the dreaded "black screen freeze". And since Super Mario Bros. 3 (Whee! Can't believe I have it!) is on the Game Boy Advance, I can save it.

So I am a sad, sad person. Still living in the latter recesses of the yester-world. I mean, I still cling on to my NES (Nintendo Entertainment System, kids.), and its big black packaging, and the only pirated cartridge of the aforementioned title, and its wild card adapter...

Kudos to the fellow at Gaming World in Tampines Mall. I loves you, my man. A chum I need in sharing my gaming woes, whims and all the other things.

E3 ... L3 ... M3!!!

Assassin's Creed :: Rainbow Six Vegas :: Splinter Cell Double Agent

E3. Electronic Entertainment Expo. Three most important words beginning with the letter "E" in any comprehensive dictionary. At least, to the game & tech buff. Seriously, it is one of my life's dreams to go there. With Japan's Tech Fest (whatever the name is) being a close second. Along with getting very drunk in Oktoberfest, being buffeted by carotene in La Tomatina and if I will have enough money, doing some major plastic surgery everywhere.

But it will never be accomplished. C'est la vie.

Damn. Damn. Damn. I need to go rob a bank or something.

To all Mothers... who actually deserve it.

Happy Mother's Day !!!

Okay, I have to run. Got my own Mummy to see to. Wouldn't it be cool if I had one of those "Mum" tattoos? With heart and dagger included, of course. Yeah, she'd be real proud of me...

Who the fuck is that?

Great, from one weirdo to the next.

Here I post something a random musing from a befuddled Friday and this nutjob posts stupid smileys for comments. See for yourself. ":) O! O!" What the fuck is that supposed to mean? If you got something to say, SAY IT. Don't be posting cryptograms and all that shit.

Some say this thing is benign, but I think it is simply a megalomaniacal ruse. That blogger profile has been viewed 7300 times and more, a cult that had me duped for just fifteen seconds. So I will not type that stupid string of numbers that is the identity of that smart bot. While there are claims of this bot-thing being their angel, I longer need one. You want to fucking play Mother Teresa? Go do it elsewhere and just leave me the fuck alone. I don't need a pussy of a charity.

..And! Hypocrites should all burn in the freezing depths of hell, that way it will lead to a slow and painfully eternal death. So, hah!

Frankly speaking.

Now there was this person who said these flowery and obviously shallow things, after reading one of my entries. I'm not saying thank you because she visited, but thanks to her for proving my theories correct.

(1) Ugliness is. Ordinary people are just too stupid to understand this.
[snip] trekkie: Why don't you get a makeover?
[snip] trekkie: And work out a bit
[snip] trekkie: Lucky I didn't grow fat
[snip] trekkie: and my friends say [I'm] cute
[snip] trekkie: thin

Now my blog says, "confessions of a big, fat, ugly person" and etc. Right? Now this aforementioned person privately messaged me that everyone is beautiful in his or her own way. Tch. Yeah, right. Easy to say that, dumbass. You HAVE been called cute. What about those who never have that privilege? And she calls me "alright". Wow, ego booster there. Yes, my heart goes out to those to who appeared in that local newspaper article years ago. Let us all be ugly together.

Satori time - I am fat because I am depressed, and I am depressed because I am fat. So why aren't you, kid? This is so unfair. I just don't understand how thin, "cute" and college going kids can be depressed.

(2) I always seem to attract Indians who are always full of themselves.
[snip] trekkie: they like me because I am very funny
[snip] trekkie: I have nicknames
trekkie: genius
trekkie: scientist
trekkie: and the like
[snip] Me: what's your worst nickname?
trekkie: none?

Thanks to a cousin, Jaded Forest, who often gives me the heads up with this strange phenomenon. I don't know, what is it with India and Singapore? Can't they go check out people from elsewhere? Now she says she's depressed, how the fuck can you be depressed with those nicknames? All I ever got were really degrading nicknames that had something to do with my appearance and various slang for female genatalia, which is why I practically hate everyone.

[snip] trekkie: I am suicidal
So am I, big deal. Every teenager is and finds it a cool trend being that. I was, still am and always will be, but does that solve anything? No. Even then, it is a crime to commit suicide where I come from and how you arrest the corpse is beyond me. Jail time for attempted suicide only pushes on the desire to be dead, a crminal record gets you nowhere on the tiny little island nation. Besides suicide is only a means to call out for attention. Me? I just want to stop caring and being compassionate, and then take the easy out of my problems. Who wouldn't?

(3) Singapore is a lovely place.
And it sure is. Strong infrastructure, corruption free, poverty managed. But how did it get there? Competitive structuring. Let's dish out a sweet example, we are sorted out into our appropriate classes via an academic peformance exams. The stigma stays, the students are demotivated for the rest of their academic lives, end of case. Yes, thank you, lovely Singapore education system.

Gawd, I really, really, really, REALLY hate my luck.

Happy Vesak Day. Whatever.

Meh, I woke up really late today. Why? I ...don't know actually.

Anyway, while I had breakfast this morning afternoon , I turned on to Nickelodeon and there was Spongebob gaggling away. Then something totally unexpected comes up. My Da suddenly quips, "He's one of my favourite cartoons."

...

Holy cow. I guess we all need a little Spongebob, whether you're 16 or 60.

The living embodiment of all my nightmares. [insert goofy laughter] Another good reason to fear a sponge, regardless of whether its a spongebath from a hot male nurse or washing the dishes with the best Scotchgard^TM can offer. Oi.

My sad -- SDA Pun

Fwah. The heat is frickin' killing me. Well, you know what they say about the weather, "When it's May, it's not even June yet." ...And even as I've just made that up, it won't help me think cool thoughts. And they bloody have X'mas in July down under.

Whatever, heat aside, I am HAPPY!!! You know why? My MP3 player is playing right again!!! YAY!!! Not even a dollar spent. Apparently, it had to do with a firmware update. Thanks to Bee Hoon -- eh? No! Meng Choon of Creative, I am in the mood for silly stuff.

My supposed SDA Banner for Mr. Chiam See Tong - "My Chiam-pion". Wah! I damn good, man. ;) *rofl*

A session I sort of liked.

Ooh, my next appointment is on 06.06.06.

(OG, OG, OG? OG = shopping = new clothes = weight loss -- uh, wrong blog.)

Psycho session today. I had a good idea on what to do next with my life. Sort of. Who knew how messed up my life has become over the years of depression, avoidance, anger, hatred, sorrow, disappointment and apathy.

It always is hard to get started, but when the gear gets going, the sprocket keeps on spinning. Until it spins to a stop, tired, exhausted, fatigued. And I might have determined why exactly I cannot pick myself, like a spent draught animal after a long haul. The emotional balance is one thing but the truth is, the world I live in is also in need of desperate change. Day in, day out, the monotony, the routine. Has. To. Go.

I am dying, and my spirit along with it. Sunshine is what I need. Yes.

How the fuck was I so disciplined in my heyday? No wonder I am so uptight.

A [real] Medical Check Up

So I met my endocrinologist this morning. 9:10 fucking-in-the-a.m., I might add. It's not normal, I tell you!

Seems like a nice fella, way so serious too. I like his assisting nurse, she is so pleasant. Anyway, it is a good idea to be tying up his consultation with my Sports Medicine consultation. Now, what was the name of that Doctor over there. Damn, I can't remember.

Anyway, just when I thought the doctor couldn't possibly get more serious. I was about to have a physical examination, when he then turns to the nurse and asks, "Could you hand me my stethoscope, please?" The nurse and I exchange looks, it was a classic moment immortalized. She then politely indicates to the instrument hanging around the good doctor's neck. "You have it there," she points out. "Oh, yah." The doctor almost sheepishly replies, and then resumes to check me up (even depressing my ankles and checking for the usual signs of diabetes).

Thus was born the perfect moment of comedy. Serious people are fun to be with.

Okay, then comes having my blood test. You wouldn't believe who I was sitting with at the waiting area. Former Speaker of Parliament, Doctor Tan Soo Khoon and my former place of residence's Member of Parliament, Teo Chong Tee. Yeah, I guess no one would believe me. They must have been there for the routine seniors checkup. Too bad I didn't bring my cellphone or camera for a shot of two old men chatting away. I just didn't like the fact that Dr. Tan kept staring at me. What? Young people -- like yours truly -- do have health issues, you know. Either that or I could throw in a little narcissism...

Teo Chong Tee was Changi's MP over a decade ago, and I lived in that area till I was 14. (The Amazing Race 3 goofed it up and called it 'Changai'.) And now he sports a George Hamilton tan. (O.o) Dr. Tan Soo Khoon looks smaller than he actually does when portayed on various media forms. But his head is just as shiny. (Ooh!)

Serendipity rocks.

The results are in...

The results are in--dubitably predictable I say.

But Teochew pride rules. Woo hoo! Uh, yeah, whatever. I couldn't care. There was this write-up in a local newspaper, saying that the residents of the contested single member constituency of Hougang mustered their courage to vote for the opposition.

Brave enough to make a choice, they say. But these good people know that money will not buy their hearts. Go them! Low Thia Khiang -- there are just too many family friends named "Low" from my Teochew side, ugh! -- has enough charisma to put fresh-faced, fledgling politicans to shame. Gawd! Even my Da calls Low his "Action Hero" (optional dialect accent included).

At least I could trust Mister Low. His predecessor, JB Jeyaretnam, had far too much facial hair for me to, well, like. He looked strikingly similar to an Abe Lincoln (with a mutton chops overdose) sporting a trishaw driver's attire*, while he chanted "The Hammer!"** in his heydays of manifesto distribution in Bedok's Markets...

Ah, I miss the glory days.

Oh, and PAP dominated -- er, I mean, uh -- got my estate. East Coast? Oh, please. Seriously, my place has everything except a public swimming pool and a public library. We have a hospital here (beat that!) in this charming little estate named after the Four Beauties of Chinese Legend, which has absolutely no relevance whatsoever to the country in the first place. I think my tiny estate should be a constituency on its own. Small but has [almost] everything. :p

* Geez! What a weird visualization. (shudders)
** Ah hah! I was right! The Workers' Party hammer symbol is called a ball-peen hammer.

First vote.

I voted for the first time, not that it was all that much of a democratic move. And my vote being secret? Pah! Utter bullshit. These pathetic partitioned tables were all that offered such privacy and there were people walking behind me while I notched my candidates of choice.

Rather questionable this supposed [daft] professionalism. First World government with Third World practices. And since it was my national obligation, I shall tell who I voted for... Yes, I voted for a PAP smear...but it is funny since I never had any sexual contact. Oh, shit. Physical sexual contact.

All in all, what a farce really.

Looking at myself...

I was looking at pictures of myself stored somewhere deep in my hard disk, and they were undoubtedly taking up too much space. Oh, man... I am really that ugly looking and it is nothing short of a miracle that I can live with myself. Yes, ugliness isn't skin deep either. And how is it that people can't live without mirrors?

Tom Cruise sure knows how to suck it in and look pretty for his fans --

Me? I'm not one of them.

04...05...06

Aw, cool. Lookit those figures! And guess what...?

May the 4^th be with you...

On a more sombre note :
I unleashed my fury in confidence,
In words steeped in hatred.
A friend looked at me aghast,
Surprised by what I had said.
Which does leave me to admitting,
That my heart is almost dead.

Thank you, dearest angel. You know who you are.

Fatigued

I have been feeling so tired for far too long. Something just doesn't feel right.

* You have ongoing, unexplained weakness or fatigue, especially if accompanied by fever or unintentional weight loss.
Yeah. But isn't unintentional weight loss good? I mean the world loves skinny people.

* You have constipation, dry skin, weight gain, or intolerance to cold.
First and last don't apply.

* You wake up and fall back to sleep multiple times through the night.
And I wonder why the hell so.

* You have headaches.
Yep. Nasty ones too. The eyeball-popper is back too.

* You are taking any medications, prescription or non-prescription, or using drugs that may cause fatigue or drowsiness.
It's for sleeping (duh)... and panic attacks.

* You feel sad or depressed.
Gee. You think?

* You have insomnia.
Wow. Really. Didn't think anyone would notice my dark eye circles.

(source - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003088.htm)
...

And now for some digressing, won't you look at that?

Michael Ironside -- the voice of Sam Fisher, of course -- appears in Desperate Housewives, his second appearance was screened last night. And when I did realize it was him, his character died. And oh-so-tragically I might add. He had to step onto the rotten stairway, which was being nibbled away by termites, while holding handgun without safe-ing it. He fell through and his finger pulled the trigger. I mean, uh, what a way to go.

Labouring Day

S'up? I actually had a whole bunch of stuff done. Unfortunately, that didn't include the 6^th item on my list in my previous post.

ANYWAY, I guess it would be fun poking about in the cyberspace life...

Hint : Yeoman *cough* Lyn3